Daily Hayley.

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Fate fell short.


I was 11

the first time my mother warned me
about drugs and alcohol

8 years later
I understand why
she was so terrified

to see her baby girl following
footsteps poisoned by
the smell of whisky

see addiction was transmitted
in my family

like a bad gene written in our DNA

some may call it
a flaw in chemistry
or in genetics

but my poor mother knew
it was so much more than that

it was

a husband coming home every night
at 4am

and breaking some dishes
whenever she tried to get him to shut up

because the kids were sleeping

it was

being 11 years old
and having her uncle
blaming alcohol

when he got caught with her
in the basement
at a family reunion

it was also

losing her brother to a cocaine overdose

even though he used to tell her

he wasn’t a drug addict
he just did it
because he liked the smell

so I understand
why she feared so much for me

but what I still cannot understand
why on earth didn’t she tell me

that drugs weren’t always shaped
like a bottle of rhum
or a handful of pills

because I had to learn the hard way
that the most dangerous drugs
happen to have

big brown eyes like questions marks
and a heartbeat that sounds
just like a lullaby

and that certainly does not
make them any less toxic

or dangerous.

The most dangerous drugs aren’t sold in sketchy neighborhood, you sometimes meet them at your local coffeeshop, goldenkintsugi (via goldenkintsugi)
— 2 weeks ago with 650 notes